Better late then never pictures from Jenna's First Birthday

I know it's a little late but I thought in light of things we needed some happy pictures. We celebrated Jenna's birthday on January 19 only a few days before her actual birthday on January 21. We had friends and family over as well as my mom and step dad came in from Arkansas. We had yummy homemade chili and chicken and dumpling soup and of course the every popular Buffalo Chicken dip and thanks to Liz Lee for introducing it to us. Jenna seemed to have a great time walking all over and playing with her sisters and her friends. Jenna got all kinds of wonderful gifts from everybody and even a special rocking chair from Grandma Roth.

My tribute to Stosh

This is my favorite picture of Stosh that I had to share. I think it was taken at dinner for David's birthday a couple of years ago.

I really didn't want to take the limelight away from David's beautiful messages but I thought it was my turn to share my memories of the big goofy guy. I'll try to do it without shedding a tear or being to mushy but we'll see how it goes.

I wasn't as fortunate as some to have known Stosh his whole life or mine for that matter. I was married into knowing him 5 years ago. I met Stosh in 2002 only a couple of days after moving to Illinois when Joe called and asked David and I if we wanted to meet him and Stosh for breakfast as Stosh had just got into town the night before. We met at Skandia House in Antioch, I was a little nervous, same as I was when I first met David's side of the family. I had heard a lot about this person called "Stosh"and was looking forward to finally meeting him. In walked Joe and this big giant guy, right away I got a big hug from him without even knowing me.

The day after Joe died as David posted in the previous blog we had concert tickets but didn't really want to go in light of Joe's passing but we were told that Joe would of wanted us to go. I now have Stosh's T-shirt from that show and I will always treasure it as a memory of him.

Stosh was one of the first few people to find out that we were expecting and when he found out about the due date he was very excited, you see she was due two days after his birthday. He was crazy, he was really hoping that Jenna would be born on his birthday, January 20, so he could share it with his newest niece. He even brought his big tow truck to the hospital to see us when I was induced, still having wished she came on his birthday. The first time he met Jenna she was about 2 months old, it was so cute, he was afraid he would break her.

A few weeks later he stayed over night to help David with something, so I would take him home the next morning. The village didn't pick up our dead Christmas tree so he offered to put it on the "burn pile" at his house. I had the big truck (Ford F-250) that day so we started to drive in the yard behind the house and proceeded to get it stuck in the mud. For the hour we were stuck I never saw him stress out about having the truck stuck in the mud. We rocked the truck back and forth, he dug out around the tires put boards down, I guess he saw the stress on my face and kept saying "don't worry sis we'll get it out" and finally we got it out only after it was down in the mud to the running boards. On solid ground he let out a big whoooo hoooo, Stosh was so proud of the mud he ran in the house to get the camera before he washed all the mud off (hopefully if they haven't been deleted I'll try to post the pictures he took of the truck).

It's kind of silly of the things you think after a person is gone but I kept thinking "wow, who will help me with the trailer now?" "How am I going to make sure it's ready for winter without him".

The big guy could get under your skin sometimes and would always ask me and I'm sure many others too "would you be my friend?" I guess I should of said "Yes".

I was an only child and I always felt like Stosh was my brother too. Man I'm really gonna miss him!!!!!

One of Stosh's favorite songs

I found this song to be appropriate given the circumstances.

The day after our step-father Joe passed away, Stosh drove Missy and I to Chicago to see these guys perform. It was a crazy night. I got very drunk, and Stosh had to drive home. We were crazy driving down the streets, hootin and hollerin' at people, celebrating Joe's life and our own time together. It was a very fond memory that I will not ever forget. The time spent with him that evening was priceless.

You brought so much life and joy to my life and our family. Your gentle love, wise cracks, big huge strong hugs, our "secret handshake", always saying we love each other every chance there was, your never ending help with my "Tim Allen" like home improvement skills, your constant giving of your heart, and your hilarious and intoxicating laugh. I couldn't have asked for a better little-bigger brother.

Man Ies to hear your voice again, and get that one last bear hug from you. I will never give up hope that this isn't real, but I know I will see you yet again. Rambo will never bhank you for taking me to that movie. I didn't care about the movie, I just wanted to be with you. you made me a better person for having you in my life. I only wish you were still here. God I miss you.


After We Go

 (by: TANTRIC)

Do you know how we got right here
Is it something we probably asked for
All the answers are not quite clear 
But the question is one that you can't ignore

We walk around like we don't live with consequence
And still believing what we do is right
So how's it feel to run and hide for your defense
You're not the only one to face the fight 

It's been a long time
Believe it or not
We've got a strong mind
But we never remember to use it
Something tells me that we've got to be suffering 
After seein' everything
I can't believe we still don't know
What it is that we think we're searching for

After we go
It seems the same mistakes will carry on
That's what we get for giving up

I don't know how long this will last 
But I will keep on pushing 
I've gotta make all the time that has passed 
Turn into reasons to get me through it 

We walk around like we don't live with consequence
And still believing what we do is right
So how's it feel to run and hide for your defense
You're not the only one to face the fight

It's been a long time
Believe it or not
We've got a strong mind
But we never remember to use it
Something tells me that we've got to be suffering
After seein' everything
I can't believe we still don't know
What it is that we think we're searching for

After we go
It seems the same mistakes will carry on
That's what we get for giving up
But until then
We have to realize there's more to it 
Than we could ever see there was

After we go
It seems the same mistakes will carry on
That's what we get for giving up
But until then
We have to realize there's more to it 
Than we could ever see there was 

After we go
It seems the same mistakes will carry on
That's what we get for giving up
But until then
We have to realize there's more to it 
Than we could ever see there was



I will never give up hope that this isn't real...never

A poem from Billie to Stosh

This message was posted to us through a different header and I thought it would be nice to post it for all to see. Thanks for the thoughts Billie, it is a nice tribute. He will be missed by all.

Billie has left a new comment on your post "Kayla's birthday":

This is so sweet! I worte a poem for Kris. I thought I would share.

(note: "" are Kris's words)

FOR STOSH:

I'll never know another "dago" like you and I mean that with all the sincerity in the world.
I'll never hear the words "snapperhead" or "sis"
spoken with your infliction again.
Although we weren't family in any conventional way,
you were a Raucci to the very core,
and as you lovingly called me "sis"
you were a big-little brother to me.
Now
I never see another tow truck and wonder if it's you driving.
I'll never hear your footsteps on my deck as I announce the "dago" is hear.
I don't even know how to begin to explain
what you meant to us,
what you meant to Tony,
what you meant to our little Alexis.
I'll never see you again on holidays, birthdays, weddings...
You'll never ask what "Mom and Pops" are up to and have me instantly know you are talking about Tom and Sue.
No more New Years with Petey.
No more gas spills in my driveway.
No more helping Tony burn down my kitchen.
And who is going to help us move if we ever get a new house?
You won't be at our wedding-
as much as you were against marriage-
I know Tony wanted you at ours!
We'll never understand this.
You saw what Pat put us through.
Didn't you know how much this would hurt?
Didn't you know we loved you?
I'll never get a chance to ask what you were thinking.
But if I had a chance,
I'd go back in time-
we all would-
and we would of called more often-
tried a little harder-
we would of wrapped you I our arms so tight and told you that although you are being a "dillweed", we still love you.
But we can't go back,
so "snapperhead" although you are a "dillweed dago", we will always cherish your memory
-especially "Grouchy Raucci"
and when I say cherish I don't mean "just a scotch"
I mean deep and wide.
And when we have our "hydraulic sandwiches", we'll think of you.
I hope in heaven you find your "juice box" and rest happily.
-your lil "sis", ("BJ")

You will be missed my little-bigger brother

It is with the saddest regret, that I must report my younger brother has succumbed to his demons and taken his own life. Kris "Stosh" Larson, was found dead yesterday after committing suicide. Stosh had a long battle with drugs and alcohol. For the most part, he did a great job controlling his demons, and beating them into submission. But, as with all demons, they eventually fight back. Unfortunately for all of us, Stosh just could not keep them at bay any longer.



Those of us that were blessed with his presence, had an instant love for this kid. He was the biggest gentle giant ever. Strong as an ox, as gentle as a hummingbird. Remember McGyver from TV? Stosh was the original. I used to tell people, he was so smart and talented, he could pull the space shuttle apart and put it back together without directions. Not only would it not ever crash again, but it would fly faster and better. He was extremely intelligent.


He loved his nieces and nephews something fierce. Always the favorite uncle, always the rough houser with the boys, always the gentle protector with the girls. They sure loved him. They will surely miss him forever.

There was nothing better than to see my girls eyes light up when Uncle Stosh walked into the room. They would immediately jump up and run to him and literally jump into the big man's arms. You would not believe the tickle fights that went on between him and Kayla Renee and Becca. They absolutely loved rough housing with him and for you wrestling fans, they would go "top rope" on him and he would just crack up laughing at how much energy they had for him.








He was a good man who tried his very best at everything his hand touched. He was a good son who did his best to be that good son. He was a great uncle who prided himself on being the favorite uncle. Most of all to me, he was a great brother that I will miss terribly forever now. I miss you little brother. I love you. Your pain is over.